Psychoanalyzing A Cellulite Treatment

I’m a forty-something women, and if French author Michel Houellebecq is correct, I shouldn’t be discussing health and beauty but shriveling up in a corner, succumbing to the inevitable aging process, resigning myself to having a cellulite riddled flabby body that’s sexually undesirable to the male species (either for procreation or pleasure), making all efforts to correct or minimize scars, stretch marks, cellulite, hairy legs, sagging breasts, the genetic propensity toward weight gain and/or hideous fatty deposits within stagnating decaying flesh, all futile endeavors to prolong the pointless female existence beyond the age of forty. Meanwhile, I’m observe the twenty-something male technician smile while preparing my thighs / buttocks for a VelaShape cellulite treatment.

Yes, I know. My connective tissue isn’t the cross-hatch pattern that men have been blessed with. I have the weaker, less evolved column-like connective pattern where fatty deposits are prone to bulge-out in orange-peel ripples.

It’s true my dermis is thin and delicate and can’t hold the accumulated metabolic waste and fatty deposits which my lymphatic glands couldn’t drain over the years. I’m also aware that what I think I know about toxins and cellulite and how or why lasers, massages and creams may work, may be entirely false because science is too busy researching how to eliminate male pattern baldness, correct erectile dysfunction and perfect penis enlargement to seriously study female cellulite reduction.

The skin clinic lighting is a tad too bright. I close my eyes. Is it worth it? What about the nightly massages with cellulite removal cream, the years of dry-brushing, the detox cleanse rituals, cellulite exercises and the vegetarian diet I’ve adhered to for the past 15 years?

I look up. The technician is explaining how the VelaShape cellulite treatment will contour my body, attack fatty deposits from four angles – through infrared light, (RF) radio frequencies, a pulsed vacuum system that exerts negative pressure, and rollers – which will smooth out my defective sensitive and overly thin skin and help MELT away my hideous accumulated female fat. He’s new. He doesn’t know it’s my last cellulite treatment for the year!

I’m a little sore. There’s a bit of bruising on my thighs and buttocks and a slight tingling sensation follows me as I leave the laser skin clinic and walk to the health food store to pick up ginger, cayenne and Chinese green tea. I’m thinking about an afternoon in my garden, some sun, a good book…but you’re wondering about the results of my cellulite creams, treatments, massages and detox body cleanse programs. Can a forty-something women get rid of cellulite and maintain her youthful appearance?

Here’s what I Do:

  1. as a vegan (for over 15 years) I eat fresh raw food and no dairy products
  2. twice a year I use detox cleanse formulas that help detoxify the colon
  3. every day I massage my skin with Revitol cellulite solution cream
  4. once a day, morning or night, before a soak in the tub, I dry-brush my thighs
  5. once a month I go for a deep massage
  6. when it’s cold I drink hot ginger tea, when it’s hot. fresh celery juice and lots of water

I’m looking into the latest cellulite treatment called Vaser Lipo – a procedure I discuss in another post. For me, it’s about maintenance, eliminating small deposits before they become problem areas.

For more information on procedures and products that work, and warnings about those that don’t, please browse related posts that deal with everything from detox cleanse formulas and cosmetic laser surgery procedures to micropigmentation, laser tattoo removal and eye makeup tips.

Leave Your Response

* Name, Email, Comment are Required

About the editor

Nena Argent, editorial director of EbT magazine since 2009, oversees online editorial content in English and Spanish. She joined EbT after ten years as an investigative journalist in Asia where she researched oriental health, nutrition and beauty treatments. Now based in Europe, she reports on the latest beauty trends, health issues, high-tech medical advancements and state-of-the-art cosmetic procedures from around the world.

Permanent Makeup / Cosmetic Surgery / Health / Beauty / Nutrition / Weight Loss / Diet Pills / Supplements / Hair Removal / Skin Care / Tattoo Removal / Eyebrow Tattoo / Permanent Eyeliner / Cosmetic Lip Tattoo / Eyelash Extensions / Cellulite Removal / Makeup Tips / Permanent Makeup Directory / Cosmetic Surgery Directory / Hair Restoration Surgeons Directory / Tanning Lotion / Natural Remedies / Low Calorie Foods / Acne Cream / Hair Transplant / Eyebrow Implants / Breast Implants / Liposuction, Liposculpture / Vaser Lipo / Tummy Tuck / Laser Hair Removal / Laser Tattoo Removal / Cosmetic Surgery Prices / Permanent Makeup Schools / Micropigmentation / Permanent Makeup Supplies / Permanent Makeup Equipment / Beauty Product Reviews

Advertise on EbT

Disclaimer

The info in this site doesn't replace consulting with a dermatologist, micropigmentation expert, plastic surgeon or nutritionist prior to undergoing a dietary change or a cosmetic/surgical procedure.